Wednesday, September 15, 2010

T'ai Chi is touching your coffee cup the same way you would touch a lover.

I went to Skyros to teach; knowing full well - because it has happened every single time in the past 18 years I have been going - that I was really going there to learn. There are just too many goodies to share in one post - cuz I promised myself to keep them short - so the teachings will appear gradually over the next months or years. Briefly here, this post then - - - I really learned how to communicate the inner experience of T'ai Chi in such a way that absolute beginners can get an experience of what it feels like to be in such a state of complete allowing.

Try this. Yessir -  go ahead and touch your coffee cup - or anything you normally touch in a utilitarian manner during the day - in the same way that you touch your lover, in the same way that you caress your baby, or your cat, or anything you love.
We all know how to do this; we all know how to sensitize our fingers at will from 'coffee cup' mode to 'loved object' mode. You know how to sensitize your fingers and how to de-sensitize them depending on what it is you are touching. You don't even need to feel the feelings of tenderness or love. Just do it. Go ahead and stroke that cup or the steering wheel or the broom, or the laundry, with a 'loving' touch. Can you feel it? What happens? How do you do it? Welllll I'll bet you do it slowly----  with a lot more presence ---- paying attention ------with a softening.

Doesn't it feel gooood? Do you feel tingly and warm and melty inside? OK, now try doing T'ai Chi that way - with love-sensitive fingertips. Hey! Why stop there? Make your entire hand into fingertips! Make your arm, your torso, head, legs, ---- make that huge largest organ of your body (Skin, the skin I am talking of) into fingertips of sensitive touch. Yeah? See what that does for your T'ai Chi.

How to do it? How to transfer fingertip sensitivity to the entire body? That is exactly what the principles of T'ai Chi are all about: move slowly, breath slowly and deeply, relax, allow, become heavy, soften the gaze, extend the body open like a flower, soften, soften, soften

More to come.

I really should charge for this stuff.

You won't find it with many other T'ai Chi teachers. Fine to focus on healing or martial arts or circulating Chi; but the absolute highest purpose of T'ai Chi is to feel your way into bliss. Once you experience that, all the other reasons for doing T'ai Chi or any other exercise seem a bit like using a jet plane to go down the driveway to check the mailbox.

If you are going to use a jet plane, may as well have fun and make it a real trip!

Sunday, July 25, 2010

Drip Dry - A Three Minute Standing Meditation

This is a good, short, fun standing meditation practice: Drip dry in the shower! When you finish your shower, turn off the water and just stand there in the basic beginning T'ai Chi position or the "Embrace the Tree" position if you want to try that.

Focus your attention on the water running off your body, all over your body, head to feet. It will take about three minutes before the drips really slow down to almost nothing.

Relax and sink your weight; keep your crown lifted; your tailbone slightly tucked in (pointing down vertically); knees unlocked; palms and fingers open and energized.

Then have fun and just melt with the water - that's all there is to it. Do it as long as you want; 1,2,3,4,5 minutes, whatever - keep it easy and light.

Let me know what you experience.

Sunday, July 11, 2010

"The Last Station" - Tolstoy Movie


Seems like a synchronicitous moment to me - having read and been so moved by Tolstoy's short story "The Death of Ivan Ilyich" (see earlier Blog) and then seeing the recent movie about Tolstoy's life and the cult-like movement that grew up around him. The man definitely saw Backstage in Life, and through his writing he brought thousands of people with him on that little backstage tour. "Hey everybody - great show don't you think? How would you like a little tour backstage to meet some of the actors and see how we make all the scenery and special effects work?"

See the movie - read the short story - welcome backstage!

Want another treat? One of my favorite seeing-backstage-in-Life monologues - Edmund's speech from Eugene O'Neil's otherwise extreeeeemely depressing play: "Long Day's Journey Into Night."

"You've just told me some of the high spots in your memories. Want to hear mine? They're all connected to the sea. Here's one. When I was on the Squarehead square rigger, bound for Buenos Aires. Full moon in the trades. The old hooker driving fourteen knots. I lay on the bowsprit, facing astern, with the water foaming into spume under me, the masts with every sail white in the moonlight, towering high above me. I became drunk with the beauty and singing rhythm of it, and for a moment I lost myself - actually lost my life. I was set free! I dissolved in the sea, became white sails and flying spray, became beauty and rhythm, became moonlight and the ship and the high dim-starred sky! I belonged, without past or future, within peace and unity and a wild joy, to something greater than my own life, or the life of man, ... to life itself! To God, if you want to put it that way."

Friday, July 2, 2010

Soccer is No Fun if You Don't Play to Win!


You have heard me say that life is a play, that it is meant to be play, that one of my absolute goals in life is to have fun with my work, to turn everything into plaaaaaay.

That does not mean that I don't take things seriously - nothing is less fun than playing a game where the other side doesn't take it seriously - does not try to win. There are things to absolutely take seriously in 'Play' and things to take lightly.

Look at the fans on the losing side of any of the World Cup games. You'd think life was over and that their entire self worth, as a person and as a nation, were dependent on winning.

Come on - it's only a game - that's the part that should not be taken seriously. Playing is real, it exists in the 'Now.' The outcome of the play (winning / losing) is in your head, is an interpretation that you attach importance to (or not if you really know how to play).

As an adult I really know how to play 'Chutes and Ladders', I can enjoy the game and not be attached to the result. My daughter, Michaela, 3 yrs old at the time, did not know how to play. The game was happiness or tears to her depending on how she was doing - up the ladder = smiles, laughs, giggles, Gooooood feeling. Down the chute = tears, sadness, sorrow - Baaaad feeling. Who enjoyed the game more? I think I did (except for not wanting my daughter to feel sad); my detachment allowed me to have fun without losing perspective.

What is fun is the thrill of the game - testing your skills against a worthy opponent. Why do Red Sox fans hate the Yankees and why do Yankees fans hate just about everyone? How much fun would a game be if the other team always really sucked? I think we should love our opponents for being good at what they do - it's a lot more fun for me if the game is really close.

The game of Life should be played no differently if you want to have fun living it. Take the playing seriously, take the result lightly; enjoy the villains and the obstacles because the game isn't real, at least the part we can see isn't real. The energy of playing is real, the energy behind what you do is real, --- the outward appearance is all smoke and mirrors.

Aaaand... Feeling is the energy behind what we do. Do you know that you can actually feel good about feeling bad? Next time you feel bad about something, no matter what the cause - actually screw the cause, the cause isn't even important except that it gives you the opportunity to feel - next time you find yourself feeling bad - Reeeeallly let yourself feel bad. Don't tell yourself that you shouldn't feel bad, or that there is anything wrong with feeling bad, or that you'd like to kill the person who 'makes' you feel bad, or that it is somebody's fault for how you feel, or anything other than really just giving yourself permision to feel deeply awful.

Go so deep with it that you even lose the concept of 'bad.' So deep that you are just feeling what you are feeling as pure energy. So deep that you eventually come to a place of thanking the 'cause' of your feeling (person or situation) for the gift of giving you the opportunity to feel.

Monday, June 21, 2010

All I Really Need to Know I Learned On The Way To Kindergarten


Do you remember Robert Fulghum’s wonderful book, “All I Really Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten?” A list of lots of simple and universal lessons for getting along in life that we were all taught way back in Kindergarten.

Well, I would like to modify the advice a bit for spiritual training.

I remember my first days in school. We could walk to school in those days, even as young as Kindergarten, even in the inner city of Springfield, Massachusetts.

On my way to school, there are two streets to cross. The first one, by my home, is supervised by my Italian grandmother, Nonie, and I am free to walk the rest of the way to the Tapley street school, shadowed by Nonie - though I didn’t know that until later - like a guardian angel in black widow’s dress flitting secretively from tree to tree to make sure I was safe - until I reach the cross-walk just before the school. There is a guard there to help us safely across, and there is also something written on the street in BIG, BOLD, yellow fluorescent block letters. I won’t be able to read what this says until sometime later in the year, and I won’t understand the universal, spiritual profundity of the message until well into my adulthood.

STOP! LOOK! LISTEN!

That’s it. That’s all you need to know in order to get safely across the street as well as safely across the gulf of separation from illusion to the divine union of Reality.

STOP!

Become still, let go of the endless whirl of thoughts and become present to the here and now. Ease off rushing or wanting to be anywhere other than where you are. Be, here, now.

LOOK!

Notice what you notice. Pay attention to what is really happening in the here and now; not to what you want to happen or to what you think is happening, but to what is actually going on. Don’t interpret what is going on through the usual filters of judgment; just look at it as what it IS. Ignore the separation of tree, gars, car, person, sky, and just see it all as an intricate play of light, shadow, and… energy

LISTEN!

Pay attention to what you are hearing. Sounds without interpretation - just listen - allow vibration in through the ears and try to experience it directly as vibration rather than passing it through the usual filters of interpretation (bird singing, bus engine, person shouting, wind rustling leaves, etc). Treat all sound the way you treat a foreign language - no interpretation of the sounds into meaning, just let the sounds in.

The result?

FEELING

Connection, a dissolving of the thin sausage-casing barrier between “I” and “Other.” A melting; an allowing; a letting in and a letting out; a merging; an expansion of my definition of “I” from limited to my body to unlimited, encompassing everything I can see, hear, and FEEL.

Giddy joy, delight, freedom, play, friskiness, and union.

I cannot think of anything I would rather have more. And it is simple. No Gurus, no complicated exercises, no special clothing or equipment required. Darn! What am I going to spend my money on then? Ahhhhhhh - come to Italy to deepen the experience of Stop, Look, Listen.

Ciao,

Sunday, May 30, 2010

T'ai Chi is really all about floating

At least for me that is the ultimate T'ai Chi experience. I've explored many different aspects of T'ai Chi over my 38 year practice; done standing meditation (like it a lot - great discipline); done the Macro and Micro Cosmic orbits - consciously circulating energy; done loads of Chi Kung exercises for healing and balancing Chi, etc; done push hands; done two-person fighting forms; done the "12 Animal" forms; done LOTS --- AND --- what it all comes down to for me is the delicious, sensual, effortless, expansive, freeing, joyful, melting, ecstatic goose-bump-producing experience of floating while I do the form. Nothing else provides the high, the well-being, the sheer thrill I seek from this marvelous art

NO other exercise even comes close to that experience. I have experienced moments of weightlessness (Roller-coaster and other 'amusement' park rides). T'ai Chi is better. No stomach jarring queasiness, just the light, weightless sensation of floating along - totally connected to the earth and at the same time floating above it - like a kite (One of my favorite T'ai Chi metaphors).

It really feels like flying, with all the freedom and joyful abandon I associate with flight.

NO other exercise is even designed with that primary purpose in mind - effortless motion. The odd, and seemingly contradictory thing about this is that the floating sensation happens most effectively when I am able to become very heavy, when I let everything drop into the earth, when I totally give into gravity; when I learn how to extend energy through that heaviness without disturbing it.

Doesn't that sound esoteric and oh-so mystical - something my teacher, T.T. Liang, might have said to me 30 years ago, leaving me without a clue but mightily impressed with the image. How to extend energy without undue engagement of muscles. It is as simple (but faaaar more profound and subtle in its application) as learning how to engage in regular tasks with less force. How hard do you grip the steering wheel of your car, or hold a pencil, or a toothbrush? Most people do these things with a lot more force than they actually need? Can you do these things with less force?

That's the basic and simple principle that, when you get waaaay more sophisticated about it, leads to floating . The next step after brushing your teeth with less force is to do it with more energy (and even less force). Now you are getting closer to the principle of T'ai Chi: less force + more energy = delicious melting. It also equals healing (without having to consciously direct the Chi - Chi is self-intelligent, it doesn't need you to guide it); it also equals spiritual connection.

Got to keep these things short - cuz I HATE to slog through long blogs too.

Peace and friskiness and thrills to you,
David

Tuesday, May 25, 2010

Practice just 1 minute a day

I am serious here!

Just a minute a day makes a huge difference.

The difference is made not by the minute you practice but by the commitment you make to do it. Toooo many people stop learning a new skill, whether it be T'ai Chi or piano, because of the inertia caused by the expectation that they need to practice 20, 30, 60 or more minutes a day in order to get 'good' at it. Inertia is overcome by the low requirement of a minute a day.

Anyone can find a minute in which to work on a new skill. And I promise you WILL progress with just a minute a day as long as you make the commitment to do that minute. You will get much better at T'ai Chi than someone who doesn't practice 20, 30, or 60 minutes a day.

The beautiful thing about making a commitment to do something - as my good friend, yoga teacher Andreas Vetsch expresses it - is that all indecision is removed. You commit to practice and that's an end to it - no questions, no exceptions, no extenuating circumstances, no hesitation, no procrastination --- you don't even have to think about it anymore, you don't even consider not-doing your daily practice -- you just DO IT whether you are tired, sick, bored, or engaged in something else you'd rather be doing.

You make time for it simply because you have MADE THE COMMITMENT. So simple, so beautiful, such a time and procrastination saver.

Of course you are not restricted to One Minute; you can, - and eventually you will find yourself doing so because this is such a rewarding and 'feel-good' an art - go longer than a minute. AND your commitment is fulfilled by that one minute - you have done it - you have some consistency in your life around a practice that will make you healthier, more relaxed, more flexible, and more connected to life. try it. It really works!

As always, I love your reflections back and will answer all inquiries - until they become so numerous that I don't want to answer them all - but for the moment, my abilities are not taxed beyond endurance.

happy practicing!
DZ

Sunday, May 16, 2010

Passion is the Key to Freedom

If I want to be free all I have to do is love everything that arises. One of my favorite Zen sayings is, “True freedom is not getting what you like, it’s liking what you get.”

Soooooo, even not liking what I get is freedom as long as I passionately ‘Not Like’ what I get. Even being depressed over not being able to live my values is freeing if I can passionately embrace the feeling of depression.

Any judgment of what I am feeling is a choke-hold on the fuel line that makes my motor run. It can all be gas for the tank, juice the battery, if I allow myself to passionately embrace what I am feeling. Bored? Be passionately bored. Worried? Be passionately worried. Hate my job? Passionately hate my job. Stay with it anyway? Passionately stay with it while hating it. Take the power and the control for all my decisions. Don’t blame myself for anything or make myself feel less for any decision or lack of decision I make. If I feel it all passionately, ANY of it can be the key to my Joy and Freedom.

At the same time, don’t make anyone else the cause of my feeling. Thank them all for providing the charge for my battery. Want them out of my life? Passionately want them out of my life.

Hate, disagree with, bored with, angry at – what you are reading? Wonderful! Great energy there for Freedom if you passionately allow yourself that experience. Want to punch somebody in the nose? Great feeling (Don’t have to act on it). Act on it? Great! Get punched back? OW!!!! Wish I hadn’t acted on my impulse? Wonderful feeling – passionately wish I hadn’t acted on my impulse – etc etc etc.

The interesting thing is NOTHING has to change in the way I live my life in order for me to be free. Don’t have to become a Buddhist or a Republican 0r a vegetarian, or learn to meditate, or become brave, or honest, or ‘better,’ or Aaaanything. Just have to allow myself to be passionate about everything that arises, not choke it off, not be embarrassed about it (unless I allow myself to be passionately embarrassed about it), not ….. well, not ….. ummmm, ok, not NOT ANYTHING!!!

Hence the meaning of another of my favorite Zen sayings: “Before enlightenment, chop wood and carry water. After enlightenment – chop wood and carry water.”

Monday, April 12, 2010

Saturday, April 10, 2010

Tolstoy's "The Death of Ivan Ilych"

I have just finished reading Tolstoy’s brilliant short story, “The Death of Ivan Ilych” and it occurs to me how ridiculous much of my life is, how unimportant most of it is; not in a depressing way, in a liberating way; not unimportant or ridiculous in what I do but rather in how I do it. It occurs to me, afresh, that it doesn’t really matter what I do; the only thing that matters is how I do it – do I do it with love (or other versions of ‘Love’ : Presence, play, Joy, attention)?

There are so many ways of NOT doing what I do with love that I am not really going to waste time trying to list them. I am either loving or doing something else that is not-love (worry, getting it out of the way, has to be done to earn the paycheck, nobody else will do it, expected of me, hate, ad infinitum).

On any occasion where I look death in the face, just as with Ivan Ilych, I think mental pain will be more severe than physical pain if I look back and realize that I have not loved enough. It is not just the big love either – mate, children, parents, friends; it is also in the tiny little moments of everyday life, the myriad ‘nows’ in which life happens where I can choose the ‘how’ of love over ‘hows’ that are not love.

Life is sooooo beautiful, magnificent and perfect; The great equalizer: How we do life matters and What life we do doesn’t matter. The “HaHaHa AHA!” of the suddenly enlightened student who has just been whacked on the head by the Zen master: Ditch digger, doctor, CEO, peon, investment banker, artist, Drill Baby Drill, environmental activist, rich, poor, Muslim, Jew, Christian….. HaHaHa! It’s all an illusion because it is all just made up from the fabric of “Now.’

No belief or activity or line of work is any better, more necessary, or more real than any other.

I have this truly ugly love seat that I bought on a whim from a consignment shop. The woven fabric of the love seat depicts a rustic country scene of farmhouses, roosters, apple trees, dogs frolicking, ducks swimming, and sheep grazing; all done in bright greens, whites, reds, browns, blues and gold. There is SO MUCH going on in that fabric.

One day I kneel on the cushions, get really close to the back of the love seat and I can follow an individual strand of the fabric as it runs its way from left to right all the way across the back. That strand passes through every one of those scenes, becoming each of the bright, contrasting colors. Right now even as I type I have set the laptop on the seat and I follow it through roof tiles, a white bunny, a red tulip, the green leaf of a tree, the bark of the same tree, a red apple, a white dog, a black dog, blue water, a white sheep, and then it repeats the pattern --- and it is the SAME THREAD. Of course every 16th of an inch the horizontal thread disappears behind another thread running vertically up the back of the seat - the warp and woof of existence. The picture is the illusion made by the dying and weaving of the fabric, the fabric is real.

Same with Life.

What we have in common is so much greater than what divides us; ummmm actually ☺ - we only have in common (the fabric) - what divides us is an illusion (the pictures). Really? OMG, the same thread passes through me AND Sarah Palin? And Osama Bin Laden? AND George Bush? And that mud puddle? And that blue sky? OMFG!

So what does Fabric have to do with Ivan Ilych?

To me, a life well lived consists of awareness of the fabric of life (Backstage) instead of being caught up in the pretty or ugly pictures created by that fabric. Awareness of the fabric gives me the freedom to enjoy the pictures, the beautiful as well as the ugly, and results in more moments of friskiness, beauty, passion, wild joy, love, Presence and Union.

Wednesday, April 7, 2010

Construction







This is our new studio in creation (Oops - Bottom to Top of course).

Been a loooong time arising:)

Sometimes I feel that I really should have been a builder or carpenter, I love working with my hands and I so love seeing something created by those hands - something physical and touchable created - arising out of the conjunction of raw materials, tools, physical labor and a dream. It seems to me to be creation in a nutshell. You have a thought/desire and gradually you bring it into manifestation. All you need are the proper tools, the material AND the know-how (or learn it while doing) to bring it about.

Monday, April 5, 2010

Meditation is Easy

As part of my daily meditation I do a Chi Kung practice known as "Standing Meditation." Although I have twice done the traditional 100 day practice of standing for an hour each day, and for years have done 30 minute daily practices (and for years done nothing too!), these days I do 10 minutes of standing.

Today this re-revelation revisited me: Meditation is actually very easy and enjoyable. It is only difficult when I think I am supposed to be experiencing something other than what is already going on; when I think I am supposed to be One with everything, or blissful, or peaceful, or transcendent, or the you-name-it high we meditators are always chasing.

However, when I just allow myself to sink into the Now, the Present Moment, and realize that there is absolutely NOTHING to 'get,' - EVER, that "IT" is always right here and available, because "IT" is the ONLY thing really going on anyway - EVER - well then, golly gee - meditation is so damn EASY; just a matter of paying attention and learning how to let go of distraction (Uh oh! "Learning how to let go of distraction" - See? Already there creeps into the Now, something that isn't there ('Learning' something). It can get really tricky - which is why so many monks end up forsaking their practice and even offing themselves.

Let's keep it simple - just sink into what is already going on - period. Simple - easy - enjoyable - AHhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

Monday, March 22, 2010

The Purpose of T'ai Chi

OK, so now I have been practicing/playing T'ai Chi for 38 years. Wow. Time flies when one has fun. So I am coming in my mind to the deepest purpose of T'ai Chi - to feel good, to feel good in the way that Abraham Hicks talks about feeling good; feeling so good that you attract to you all the things you desire to have in your life.

You prepare, structure, arrange, clean up the vibration of your being-ness in such a way that you are in harmony with Source, or what I remember calling, even as long as 30 years ago, your "You." The ultimate purpose of practicing T'ai Chi is that is gives you a very practical, no-nonsense way of feeling good. This goes beyond health and healing although it certainly encompasses both. There is a literal "Thrill" that passes through my body over and over again as I play the form; (yes, "Play!" That is the literal translation of the Chinese word for "Doing" T'ai Chi. You are asked by the Chinese, "Do you play T'ai Chi?"). And the more 'Play' I put into my practice, the greater the Thrill I experience.

T'ai Chi works on a very deep level, touching, tickling, stroking and exercising the physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual 'bodies' all at the same time. It often feels as powerful as making love in terms of the melting nature of the feeling while playing.

Very often, during T'ai Chi I will also have insights into the nature of the universe - as a matter of fact, most of my "Aha" spiritual experiences have come during T'ai Chi; the rest while high on some other more immediate, EZ and reliable a drug. T'ai Chi is free (after a while:) and a better friend than those other substances.

Saturday, March 20, 2010

About practices (meditative or not) that progress to being able to do something that you can't initially do (yoga, T'ai Chi, Triathalons, 100 push-ups, etc): This is from my own experience of pushing myself to extremes and beyond in search of the effortless: Make it effortless the entire way! I still 'push' myself but only little pushes - once it starts to feel onerous I just stop - not worth it - if it doesn't feel good I don't do it - I do it up until it stops feeling good, then I go just a little bit further and stop. Each day I do the same thing and little by little I get up to my desired goal (Stand for an entire hour in one position, or whatever) effortlessly - I make the process effortless as well as the intended goal (1 hour); To me that is the only sane way of doing these things. whether yoga, t'ai chi, push-ups, bike riding, jogging, with ANYTHING that I am trying to increase my 'endurance.' All it takes is patience and allowing/letting go, and the result is achieved with a whole lot more pleasure, less ego, and not a whole lot more time.

I see people in yoga classes injuring themselves because they try to do what the teacher is effortlessly doing, even though the teacher tells them to take it at their own pace (Right!). Come on! I see the teacher with her foot wrapped around her neck and the guy next to me is doing it too, so naturally I am going to tear a muscle trying to get as close to the position as possible.

Not.

To push for the extreme as fast as possible means I am not being in the Now moment during the process and the end becomes more important than the feel-good of the process. I never could see much spiritual in spiritual practices where the goal is to achieve some seemingly impossible feat of strength, endurance, etc, but I pushed myself anyway.

I don't do that anymore. It is possible to learn as I age. The goal always seems to be able to do it effortlessly, so why not release the ego right away and make the process effortless and fun and feel-good.

My most valued spiritual-guide book has always been: "The Lazy Man's Guide to Enlightenment." Nothing else makes any sense to me since everything we need in order to wake up fully is always available to us right now and only right now - never in the future.

Now, rather than feeling as if I am lacking something when I see someone doing something I cannot yet do, I just appreciate their effortlessness. When I see someone struggling to do the same thing - I wince.

Tuesday, March 9, 2010

On Transparency, Power and Control

I haven't read Warren's Bennis' book on transparency yet but it seems right up my alley. My spiritual take on transparency is that as long as I am protecting any information, ANYTHIIIIIIIINNNNGGG about myself - that information has a certain power over me and binds me because I somehow fear other people finding out about it. The more transparent I am the more powerful I am. small hiding - small power loss; BIG hiding - BIG power drain.

It is all connected to vulnerability - the more vulnerable I am the more powerful I am because there is NOTHING for anybody else to grab onto to hold over my head as a threat. I cannot be controlled if I have nothing to hide. A group cannot be controlled if they have nothing hidden, an organization cannot be controlled if they are completely open. Information is power, well............ protected information is power ......... well, actually .... priviledged information is control.

This may sound Pie-in-the Sky and it IS! AAAANND the Pie and the Sky are real. This hiding stuff and organizational (any organization or company) game playing is just that - a game. A VERY fun game that I also LOVE playing, but I think the point of the game is to wake up from it - it becomes a much more fun game once it is only a game and I no longer take it so seriously.

In truth nothing is hidden anyway - all is transparency - I only think I am hiding stuff and so I blind/blind myself. I give away my power by hiding anything about who I am, what I think or believe, and how I have acted. I speak of personal power here, not power in terms of controlling someone else. Real power has no need to control. Only scared people need to control... OK so I am scared sometimes too - but I am working on it.

FREEEEEEEEEDOMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!! as short but powerful Mel Gibson says.

Wednesday, March 3, 2010

IT's only and always a Game!

First of all, this whole thing we call life is really just a game. We are all playing it and some of the time I actually remember that it IS a game and then all my problems disappear. It is not so EZ to see backstage in the game of life. We take it all too seriously. Why should a mere game cause someone a heart attack? And yet it does - it almost did to me.

I am NOT talking about the game of life here - talking about Football - NHL football. Specifically the Superbowl game of 2009. I am not even a football fan but the Patriots, were playing and when I am a fan I am a Patriot's fan. This game was one of the most exciting I have ever watched and the Giants pulled off an almost impossible comeback win.

One one of the touchdown runs I cheered so hard, jumping up from the couch and high-fiving Tim VanNess, that my heart pumped sand started o violently that I had to sit down hard and breathe deeply for a few minutes. Wow! Over a game 'game,' not even the game of 'real life.'

I used to watch my daughter get sooooooooo upset over getting behind in Chutes&Ladders. "It's only a game sweetheart" didn't seem to help.

So, if we can get so invested in actual games, letting them have such emotional/physical/mental effects on us - how much more difficult is it to stand back from the game of RL (Real Life) and not take it so seriously? In my darkest most despairing, desparate moments my great desire is to be able to step back, breathe and remind myself, "It's only a game."

Sunday, February 28, 2010

WOW!

WOW as in "Wow my very first entry into the world of blogging (not "Wow" as in "World's of Warcraft" - which btw I have given up for Lent). Going to bed now - early day tomorrow with 53 ft. Semi coming to unload the parts of our new addition (to be a Yoga/T'ai Chi studio)