A Doorman’s Presence
A point I always make is that you don’t have to be a leader to have Presence. Everyone has Presence. You ARE Presence, by virtue of the fact that you exist. Presence is your “You-ness,” your authentic ‘Self.’ How much that Presence blossoms, shines, radiates, is noticed, depends on many things, all learnable skills: confidence, relaxation, being present, how you stand, gesture and move, your eye contact, the quality of your voice, even your breathing.
One of the best examples of someone with great Presence and nothing to do with leadership, is a doorman I encountered years ago. I was about to teach a class on Presence to a group of consultants at Oliver Wyman. I like to arrive very early to my teaching site in order to set up the room. I use old school flip charts rather than Powerpoint and it takes about an hour to set things up.
I arrive on the first morning at the OW headquarters at 1166 Avenue of the Americas in NYC, before 7am. I am greeted by a doorman who is already on the job and opens the door for me. I am not used to doormen at the front entrance to a skyscraper office building, and I am not at all certain that this man is even an actual employee of the building. However, he greets me with such a smiling hello and warm regard, such a genuine concern for me as a person, such a joy for being of service to me (by the simple act of holding the door open), that I am stunned into immobility.
This is not your random door opener. Even professional door openers at ritzy hotels have nothing on this guy. He opens the door for me as if it were the best job in the world and that I have somehow made his day by arriving at his door! For this brief moment in time, I am the only person in the world to him and I feel it.
He is so HERE and so tickled at being here, that my mind freezes. All the thoughts of getting through security, wondering if my room will be open for me, how long I have to wait before I can get access, all the random thoughts that go through my head at any given moment, just kind of dissolve in the light of his Presence that I stop in my tracks.
I am ‘Real’ for this person, he sees me, he is available, and, as the Vietnamese zen Buddhist monk, Thich Nhat Hanh says, he is giving me “the gift of his attention.” I stop too and become available to him. I look him in the eye, smile and thank him. Two human Beings, connecting authentically with hearts and minds in the only place that actually exists - the present. Just a brief, but a Real, moment, a mutual acknowledgement of each other’s Presence, Being-ness, humanity.
That encounter is so momentous to me that I ignore the clock and sit in the lobby of the building to watch him greet others as they come through the door. To this man they are all the only person in the world for him as he greets them. Some see it and some do not. Some are obviously ‘repeat’ customers, coming to work every morning. Some of these make what is obviously a delightful daily connection with him. Others just nod, already into their agendas for the day. I can always tell the newcomers who, like me, get stunned into Presence by the doorman’s gentle, genuine, enthusiastic greeting. It’s fun to watch startled people waking up to the moment and the opportunity to connect.
Then comes the topper! I see two Buddhist monks in traditional Tibetan robes walking down the street. It is obvious that their paths are going to cross with the doorman. I am almost giddy with expectation as to how this encounter will shake out. I mean, the monks, that’s their JOB right, being present?
I am already going to have a late start getting my room ready but this is too delicious to pass up. The monks are deeply engaged in conversation with each other as they approach the doorman. He is outside the front doors waiting for people to come in. He sees the monks and with a huge smile he steps towards them, like a beaming Buddha descending from the sky, says a loud cheerful “Good Morning” and bows.
The monks are startled from their conversations and look up with the same slightly stunned shock I recognize from my own encounter. Monks are human. They had been so engrossed in their conversations that they too were not present. There is this little frozen moment all the way around, two startled faces looking at a beaming one. Then the monks also break into huge smiles and laughter, performing multiple bows and greetings to the doorman - tacit and humble recognition at being caught out (Not that that was at all the doorman’s purpose) with genuine pleasure at being reminded of Reality from an unexpected source. Three smiling, beaming, laughing beings bowing over and over to each other in simple mutual acknowledgement of each other’s Being-ness.
That doorman is the true zen master in that moment, and the monks acknowledge it with humility and playfulness. That is pure Presence with no thought towards influencing or leading. And yet it is the very same Presence great leaders project when making themselves available, when giving the gift of their attention, to either one person they greet in an elevator or to five hundred people in a crowded auditorium.
